A Useless Dog

ByTony Chandler

I found a dog that couldn’t bark
When I was walking in the park
I dragged him home to show my Dad
He said “Oh boy that dog smells bad!”

So I threw him in the swimming pool
(The dog, not Dad, you silly fool).
I dragged him out and he still stank
(Bits were left floating in the skimmer tank).

So I took him to show my mate named Joe
There’s nothing about dogs he doesn’t know.
He said “This dog stinks and has mangy fur
He’s a useless dog, don’t you concur?”

So I tied him to an old gum tree
And sat and thought till it dawned on me
I realised I had been misled
And dogs can’t bark when they are dead!

(Tony Chandler 2007).


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