Dogaholics Anonymous

Author Unknown

Welcome to Dogaholics Anonymous..You may be thinking that you are OK and that you really don't need any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic and it is even harder to do anything about it.

D.A. is here to help you live with it.

I have some questions to ask. If you answer YES to more than three of the following questions, you are indeed in need of help.

  1. Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
  2. Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real car?
  3. Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?
  4. Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to dog shows, specialties and seminars, when everyone else goes on a cruise?
  5. If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts? Or to Finland in June to attend the World Dog Show?
  6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
  7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
  8. Was the colour of your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
  9. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
  10. Do you know what CD, DCX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH and OTCG stands for?
  11. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogues, dog magazines and premium lists?
  12. Do you get up before dawn to go to training classes? Dog Shows?, Seminars?, but have trouble getting up for WORK?
  13. If you have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do these pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or squeaky toys?
  14. When you meet a new person, do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?
  15. Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember their name?
  16. Do you find dog people boring?

    If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
    If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
    If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.

    My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back and smile, turn to the person sitting next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never be boring.

    Submitted by John Chandler

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