It should be illegal, the way that I'm treated,
I think it's unfair, I feel I've been cheated.
I'm faithful, I'm loyal, I work like a dog,
Pardon the pun, but mine's a hard slog.

I'm honest, devoted, intelligent too,
You'd no doubt dispute that, but I know it's true.
I'm all of these things, just to mention a few,
And what do you feed me? Minced Kangaroo !!

I round up your cattle, I guard you at night,
I don't mess your lawn, I don't pick a fight,
I don't chase the postman, I don't ever bite.
But I can't take a trick, can't do a thing right.

I come when you call me, I never complain,
Yet you expect me to sleep in the rain !
You tell me I'm lazy, I'm getting too fat,
Yet I get into trouble for chasing the cat!!

You drag me along to some inane show,
To win some cheap ribbon, to massage your ego.
You think that I'm happy, you don't know the half,
You tell me life's tough, but don't make me laugh !!