Dunny Doors

By Reg Beck

I've talked of country dunnies and lots of other scores,
But never said a single word 'bout country dunny doors.
Now here we have a subject I think you will agree,
That should now be treated with utmost integrity.

Now dunny doors were crafted with specific aims in mind,
Maid of cabinet timbers of many a different kind.
Patterns were cut in those doors, with different shapes and parts,
For newly weds, they usually cut intertwining hearts.

So early in the morning when the bride sat upon the seat,
The sun shone through and little hearts danced upon her feet.
With hearts set at eye level, it wasn't very hard,
To see the little butcher boy, come into the yard.

If you were a cowboy they would cut a bucking horse,
Placed so you could look through, on the rodeo grounds of course.
With a seat shaped like a saddle and reins behind the door,
Whip upon the paper nail, and stirrups on the floor.

The local gossip didn't want a door peep hole at all,
Instead she had inserted a hole in either wall.
So that, as she daily sat upon the dunny seat,
She could look, at any time, both up and down the street.

Then, you see,they had what's called, the Ultra Vision door,
That closed the opening only, to a foot above the floor.
So that, as you quietly sat at peace upon the seat,
Anyone outside could see your trousers 'round your feet.

Air conditioning was a feature of some old dunny doors,
Where white ants, gnawing tirelessly, had come up through the floors.
Where housewives, cleaning up the dust, often had a whinge,
Till, as a useless empty shell, the door fell off the hinge.

Now every country dunny should have a dunny door,
But sadly though, I must say folks, It's not so anymore.
Even though I've told you, I think you all should know,
Though dunnies should have dunny doors, it isn't always so.